Mama’s Wash Day

My mother flew in to spend my birthday with me (isn’t she awesome!?) and like I always do when I have my mom near, I jumped at the chance to give her wash day and play in her curls.

(1) I had her pre-poo with grapeseed and safflower oil for 30 minutes under my Gold N’ Hot Conditioning Cap. Getting for sit under the conditioning cap for that long was a victory in itself. After 10 minutes she was ready to toss the cap aside because it made her hot, but after reminding her “it’s for the best” she agreed to give me 20 more minutes lol.
(2) Shampooed with Organix Moraccan Argan Creme Shampoo
(3) Tea rinsed with mix of peppermint tea and green tea.
(4) Applied Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner to her hair and covered with a plastic cap. I didn’t bother suggesting she sit under the cap again, it’s not a battle I would have likely won so I opted to have her just relax for a few hours while the conditioner worked its mojo.
(5) After rinsing out the conditioner, I applied Darcy’s Botanicals Daily Leave-In Conditioner to her hair and lightly sprayed it with CHI Keratin Mist to combat the bit of breakage I saw she was experiencing. Thankfully, the CHI Keratin Mist did just the trick.

(6) Detangling her curls was an absolute breeze. It took me about 15 minute to detangle and I have to say I was absolutely jealous haha.

(7) After detangling, I blow dried her hair (using the cool air setting). Once her hair was dry, I parted her hair into 4, applied a tiny bit of Pura Body Naturals Murumuru Moisture Milk to each section and cornrowed her hair. With an early flight the next morning, she wanted to be able to put on her wig and go, go, go so had me keep it very simple, hence the braids.



Even though it was a simple wash day, I was still happy I was able to do it for my mom. I love her hair and think it’s beautiful but I have to admit it saddened me to hear her say that the only way she thinks she’ll be able to grow her hair longer is if she started relaxing her hair again. My mom hasn’t always been natural. She transitioning a few years ago but her longest length was achieved when she was relaxed. She used all the products I did and was able to successfully retain her length. However, now that she’s natural, not all of the those products still work for her so I’ve been on a journey to slowly introduce her to new products and more importantly, healthy hair techniques that work for her.

I tried showing her pictures of ladies with awesome long, natural hair but she seems set in her ways. And I know I know, she could always go back to relaxing her hair but she doesn’t truly want relaxed hair. She enjoys being natural but she’s frustrated because she isn’t seeing progress and my relaxed hair is a reminder to her that her relaxed hair = long hair.

I’m considering going natural just for her, to support her, share the ups and downs with her, share products I know her hair may love (because she claims that my natural hair is the same texture as hers). I hadn’t planned on going natural for a few more years – not until my texlaxed journey was over and done with – but for mama, that change may come sooner than I expected.

Thank you for the encouraging comments! And I read my mother all the comments, y’all made her smile 🙂 Her response: “I can’t believe they like my hair!”


  1. Did i just read that my hair idol is going natural, insert happy dance. I look forward to your natural hair journey.

  2. Sorry I meant do you use rubber bands to hold the end of the braids in place because thats what I do and even though I moisturize,and seal my ends can the rubber bands cause damage to my ends.

    1. Author

      No I didn't use rubber bands. Her hair curls at the ends, and that stops the braid from unraveling. Over time the rubber bands could cause breakage at your ends because if left in for an extended period of time, and repeatedly used, the bands would be putting tension on your ends – which are the oldest and more fragile part of hair.

  3. I have a question like your mom I also wear wigs as a protective style,and cornrow my hair in braids to hold the braids in place do you place rubber bands or would that do damage to your ends

  4. Your mum gas beautiful hair! Beg her not to relax it. And the cornrows are looking good.

  5. Great post, your mom's hair is beautiful! It's really moving that your willing to go natural to support your mom. Regardless of what you decide to do, both you and your mom will surely have amazing outcomes! 🙂

  6. Awwwww, that is sweet. I'm sure your mom will love that 🙂

  7. This is the same with my mum, because her hair is soo thick she wants to start relaxing again. I'm trying to introduce new techniques and products to so that she wont keep feeling that way.

  8. Your mom's hair looked so shiny & curly, well done! I loved your blog when I was relaxed, I still love your blog while I am transitioning to natural hair and I am confident that I will LOVE your blog if you should choose to go natural. Healthy hair is gorgeous!
    Caribbean girl living in Holland

  9. Cute story. My mom went natural but I didn't take the journey with her. Her hair is doing good and thickening up nicely. If I go natural, it would be to see what my true texture is as I don't recall those days. I've been relaxed for a while. Relaxed Thairapy.

  10. hi, i've been reading your blog for quite some time and this is my favorite post of yours . i'm a caribbean girl lol and i knw the struggle to get mums to sit down and let you take care of their hair. i think its a great idea to go on the journey to natural with your mum. Consider it a new challenge especially as you have basically mastered texlaxed hair … but another part of me don't want to lose your valuable help . I'm selfish haha i have relaxed hair if you go natural we might have to part ways *sniffle . Anyway i'm a fan, et mwen aime sa ou ka fait la . c'est un bon biten .p.s i hope u understood my failed attempt at spelling patois lol.

    1. Author

      Haha I understood. I'd still be here to help. If I went natural, my knowledge of relaxed hair wouldn't just disappear haha.

  11. It's funny how ppl always say the reverse, that if you want long hair, you should go natural. Different strokes huh. Her hair is gorgeous and I bet it'll grow out in no time as it seems really healthy.
    Abbi of

  12. What a lovely post. I started my HHJ in June of this year and I have bombarded my mom with so much information already! She is coming to town in 2 months and I'm dying to do her hair 🙂
    Jen- are you buying a premixed tea for your tea rinses? I read a previous post and I'd like to get some tea to try out.

    1. Author

      Some a pre-mixed and some are individual tea bags. I have three from CCs naturals that are pre-mixed: happy hair tea (contains hibiscus, lavender, green tea, nettle tea), true tea (contains lavender, fenugreek, chamomile, sage, green tea), and marshmallow & burdock root (contains mashmallow, peppermint, greent tea, lavender, burdock root). I have additional teas that aren't premixed that I sometimes add to the premixed ones: green tea, black tea, peppermint tea, and rooibos tea.

  13. I kind of understand how you are feeling… My mum's hair is in a poor state and she wants to have healthy hair but i don't know how to not bombard her with so much hair care regimen (plus patience is not a trait of hers). To me these hair care tips are pretty simple but to her its just too much. I don't know, maybe i will just keep trying.

  14. Awww, such a sweet post. Nothing like bonding with mom during Wash Day! That is such a sweet gesture to go natural. My mother is having the same problem she hates her natural hair and the last time she did try to relax it took alot of her hair out. Hope your mom decides to reconsider, she has really beautiful hair.

  15. Your mom's hair is beautiful!
    And that is so sweet that you would make that transition just for her.
    I am excited to see what you decide!
    Britt @ One&20

  16. Such an Awesome Mom! Hope you had a great Birthday. Your mom's hair looks so soft and healthy!

  17. Awwww Jen. I volunteer to go natural with you when you do it…. I'm hope to be WL relaxed by Dec but would love to give my natural hair another shot.. Relaxed hair is so much easier though…. That's a really sweet thing to do for mum though….

  18. Will be exciting to follow you in your transistion. Sounds like a great mother and daughter project.

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