Oh The Crazy Things People Say

Will you do a top 5 or 10 crazy things that people have said to you about your hair (i.e. your will not grow that long, black people don’t air dry, your’re washing your hair too much) when you told them you wanted healthy long hair? 

I could only recall 8:

  • “White products” (i.e. Redken and Paul Mitchell) will not work for your hair. This was actually said to me a few months ago after someone ASKED me what products I use. I will never understand why people ask questions and then shoot down the answer. Or assume I’m lying… I’m in hair care aisle, holding a bottle of Paul Mitchell shampoo and the person thought I was lying… seriously? 
  • Your hair will fall out if you wash it every week. Over three years later, I still have hair on my head, lol.
  • Your hair will fall out if you put oil on your scalp. 
  • Shoulder length is your terminal length, you can’t grow it past that. Right, and unicorns are real.
  • You’re not mixed, your hair won’t grow to your waist. This one made me so mad! I wasn’t even considering waist length when this was said to me, but I made up my mind to do it soon after! Whether she reads this blog or not, I don’t know, and I haven’t seen her in over a year but I’d love to know what she has to say about my length now.
  • Only a stylist should apply relaxers. Your hair will fall out if you do it yourself. Side-eye. 
  • You have to go natural to have long hair. 
  • You can’t do it. Seriously, that’s all they said to me. If that’s not motivation I don’t know what is!
What crazy things have naysayers and doubters said to you?


  1. My boyfriend always makes side comments about how I buy all of that stuff for my hair and it doesn't work (mind you, when we started dating my hair was barely touching my shoulders and now it's APL).

    My coworker is always like, "Why do you moisturize your hair everyday? That's way too much". I told her my hair obviously like it and she said my hair was only growing, because I don't use heat. -___-

    You can't win with these people. I'll let my results speak for themselves.

  2. I heard,"you aren't mixed, africans can't grow long hair". Another told me, "I'll be waiting to see the magic". I've got the magic alright! 3 months and a length check got her nodding real fast!! And I aint done yet!!!

  3. Oooooohhhhhh, lies I've been told…well, in actual fact my friends have been VERY encouraging and motivating since I started my journey, noticing my progress from ear/neck length, commenting on how good my hair looks and basically being the best people! But I have heard lies from STYLISTS and from people who are not in my life anymore, such as:
    1. You need Super Strength relaxer (no I don't, my hair thrives on the mild kiddie kits)
    2. Cutting your hair makes it grow faster (no it doesn't! Trimming and dusting just helps get rid of split ends which aid retention)
    3. "Hair food" is moisturizing (no it's not! 3/4 of those products have petrolatum or mineral oil in the first 2 ingredients!)
    4. Stretching relaxers causes breakage (THAT depends. I've always been in the 8 week camp, now stretching to 12, breakage is not excessive. Beyond 12 though…I admit I struggle some and THAT causes breakage)
    5. You just look better with short hair anyway, so stop trying to grow what you can't grow long (THAT one was the one I believed for the longest time. I'm over it now)

  4. I always was told grease your scalp and even at a young age I knew it wasn't good for my hair or scalp, and whenever I go somewhere looking for salon hair care products like Paul Mitchell or Redken, I get ushered to whatever Mizani products the salon carries and get told this was for "my type" of hair. :/ Sadly I tried Mizani products on my hair and it was crap. (just MY opinion). Oh and I had a hairdresser relax previously relaxed hair (recently too, a shame) saying because I hadn't relaxed my hair in 4 months it was like virgin hair. The next day, I found your blog and haven't been back to a salon lol.

    1. All of that is so ridiculous, for them to usher you to the Mizani products…I have used Redkin before for like a year and it was just fine..smh…Sorry the stylist relaxed your previously relaxed ends…that's just terrible. Good thing you found this blog indeed.

  5. Surprisingly or maybe not (because i wore weave for consistently and wasn't caring for my real hair) I am always encouraged to treat my hair better and once i started my HHJ i was even more encouraged! But sometime i have those friends who think its too much them to get the same results.

  6. It's strange how negative people can be when you simply decide to grow your hair out and take care of it. I've never understood the mixed race comments either. I'm mixed race and I've had damaged, short hair so the idea that being mixed makes your hair better completely baffles me.
    My mum always says I do too much and my hair would fall out lol

  7. "If you don't relax your hair bone straight, your hair will broke off"
    "If you texlax your hair, they will fall out"
    "If you use white product, they will broke"
    "your texlaxed hair is so ugly"
    "you can't find a job with that textured hair"
    "If you change relxaxer, your hair will brok of"
    ALL from the SAME person ……

    1. Author

      So much negativity from one person! 🙁

  8. My mommy kept telling me when I just started the journey that I wasting money and time. I did too much and then I brought out the yogurt concoctions and then they all went crazy. I did a length check yesterday when I went home for the weekend and my momma smiled. I showed my aunt and she said I have good hair meant for a perm so I can have it long in my back and look like a indian O_o. Yup, she said that. My big bro promoting the blog at work without me even asking him to. I did a little drama piece after the length check,(In my Marthin Luther King voice) "this is to all those who doubted me and said I couldn't do it, but I had a dream. Though my concoctions stinked, they worked and work well.." Before I could finish my mom told me to shut up lol

    1. Author

      "then I brought out the yogurt concoctions and then they all went crazy" lol! My family had the same reaction the first time I used cassia.

      "(In my Marthin Luther King voice) "this is to all those who doubted me and said I couldn't do it, but I had a dream. Though my concoctions stinked, they worked and work well.." Before I could finish my mom told me to shut up lol" LMAO that's too funny!

  9. I've heard you can' go to a white salon (which I do go to for my cuts/trims). I get the they don't know our hair, and they use white people products, and techniques.
    The best haircut I ever had was at the white salon that I go to. They shampoo and condition and don't add product until after my hair is blow dried and flat ironed and my hair is soft and moist for over a week. IT's to the point at the end of the week I don't want to do my routine wash beause the results were so good and my hair is still moisturized.
    Since doing my cut's and trims there my hair has grown with my care to mid back length.

  10. You got to be mixed to grow long hair, you do too much to your hair, black people hair grow faster with a dirty scalp.

    1. Author

      The first time I heard about the myth that hair grows faster with a dirty scalp was on hair boards… I was shocked haha.

  11. "I will never understand why people ask questions and then shoot down the answer. Or assume I'm lying"

    Me neither! People ask me what I use on my hair and what's my regimen. So I tell them what it is. And then I hear "you're not supposed to wash your hair that often you will wash your relaxer out" Really now? -_- smh

    1. Author

      I've heard the "wash your relaxer out" thing too!! I made a "picture it" post for it that I need to post soon.

  12. somebody told me today that my hair is almost BSL because it's my nature to have it like that!! saying she can't grow hers too! i was like WTF??? i started SL…and i'm stilll gowing my hair. loool

    1. Author

      I've gotten it's just easier for me to grow my hair out then them from people who have know me and my hair for years! Makes me sad when they make excuses rather than try :/

  13. Haters gone hate !!!!
    I'm glad you didnt listen to them!!!
    I heard vaseline wasn't good for the scalp, but I think it's true lol
    My mom always get mad when I cut my ends she's like "you're hair is becomin longer and lnger why would you want to cut it" !! Thats her way to encourage me loool

    1. Author

      My mother doesn't get why I cut my hair either haha. Sometimes I think she has more invested in my hair than I do lol

  14. Most ppl tell me God has blessed me with hair that's why each time I cut my hair, it grows back long a.k. shoulder length. Back in June 2011 when I cut off all my hair, my stylist swore my hair won't grow back.Her friend saw me and she kept saying the above statement. I hope to see that stylist in the coming year to prove her wrong.

  15. I've been told that I'm not mixed so my hair won't grow that long (past SL), that I wash my hair too often and that I wait too long between relaxers and that's gonna cause my hair to 'break'. I usually just respond with a 'well my hair seems to like it' and keep it moving. I let my progress speak for me 🙂

    More recently, people have been telling me that I'm mixed and that's why my hair's growing…:S just can't win out here lol

  16. When I started my hair journey, my stylist said to me that I need grease to nourish my scalp. I was also told that my hair will never grow past my shoulders, my hair would fall out if I wait more than 8 weeks to relax it and I would have to go natural to have healthy long hair. The things that people believe.

  17. Well my cousin has said to me that it will take 3 / 4 years for my hair to reach all the way in my back and it takes White / Hispanic cultures three months. He sees the pictures of all these African Americans with hair so long but yet he says that crazy stuff. I hate when he says that , it really irks me. So what if there hair grows faster . At least ours can grow. I just smh at times

    1. Author

      SMH indeed. I used to irked at things like that but I've met some people that are so stuck in their mindset, that I just give up trying to show them truth.

    2. He's is ridiculous! What is all the way in your back? That could be armpit length, that could be brastrap length or that could be mid back. What starting point is he referring to? Hair grows about 6 inches a year, and clearly we have seen that in 4 years a black woman (Jen) has made it to waist length from top of shoulder length. Give me a break….it's even worse when it comes from our own men.

    3. In one of my classes while I was in college, I heard and saw a white girl complaining that her hair won't grow, and a trini Indian girl was recommending to her to use Indian hemp hair grease. So please. I have had several of my white female friends complain about their hair not growing past certain lengths. Many of us have the same problems. He sounds ignorant.

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